Letters to God 1-16-25

 Dear God,

   I struggle so much with feelings of guilt and shame.  I feel guilty for staying too long in my first marriage and letting my babies be harmed for too long.  I feel guilty that their father is such an evil person and hurt us all so badly over the years.  I feel guilty that Steve - the man they loved as a daddy, turned into a total jerk and broke their hearts.  I feel guilty for getting cancer six years ago when they were younger, and for the fear that put them through.  I feel guilty for being a disabled and chronically ill mom.  It's not fair for them to grow up like that.  I feel guilty for not being able to do everything with them or give them everything.  I feel guilty for being unable to work and provide things I want to for them.  I feel guilty for getting fat and sick and making Steve stop loving me.  I feel guilty that I'm no longer able to be the person he loves and is proud of.  I feel guilty for failing at two marriages.    I feel guilty that I'm not able to take care of my parents and instead they have to help me with things.  I feel like I have let everyone down God.   Even You.  I feel ashamed, and like I've failed everyone, myself and You included.  I know that You don't want me to feel like this.  Please help me to release these feelings to You and to remember who You say I am.  You say I am chosen, worthy, loved, forgiven, whole, beautiful, redeemed, free, bold, strong, important, gifted, chosen, courageous, heir, masterpiece, special, unique, Yours.  Please help me remember these when the guilt creeps in.  I love You!



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